Tell Me What To Do
by Cheap Indifference
Summary: "I'm going to enlist tomorrow morning," you interrupted her.  You knew she was going to convince you otherwise and maybe that's what you wanted because as of now you couldn't see it any other way.


**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.**

**A/N: Even though he will never see this he is my inspiration for this one. Mr. Stephen King, I thank you, sir.**

**A/N 2: Please check out The Outsiders RPG, Over The Tracks, where aerodynamics and myself admin. Most canons are still available and we love meeting and roleplaying with new people.** .

**XXX**

**October 2, 1967**

You didn't know where else to go. Kathy had a way of seeing the things you missed that were so blatantly obvious and telling you how it was; it was why you loved her so goddamn much. Even though the two of you were currently on the outs, your feet lead you to her front porch, all you had to do was knock. Knowing as soon as she laid those green eyes on your pathetic fucking face she'd take you in her arms and ask what was wrong.

She was marvelous in that way, she knew you better than anyone else, even better than your own Ma. It had you wondering why you didn't just marry her. Marriage, every time the word popped into your head, a lump appeared in your throat and suddenly breathing wasn't second nature anymore.

You knew it was what Kathy wanted and hell, maybe you even wanted it too. But it scared the shit outta you and whenever you thought about it for too long a fight between the two of you would break loose; accidentally and maybe even sometimes on purpose.

It scared you because every time the two of you fought it got meaner than the last time, you'd be apart for longer and Jesus did you say things you didn't mean, things you knew would hurt her. You hated yourself for it. But somehow the two of you got back together like nothing had happened and things always worked out because you were Two-Bit and Kathy.

This was the longest you'd been apart, it had been months… four months, Jesus, four months already. Was it still 1967? Or had the New Year come and gone? It was hard to tell lately, bad things just kept happening, fuck if you knew the reason why.

Ever since Dallas and Johnny bit the bullet… bit the bullet. Technically only one of them bit the bullet, six bullets to be exact. You cringed at your own thoughts, since when did you joke about death and start using the term 'bit the bullet'. Maybe the day you realized that you were just too damn tired to be bitter at the world, fuck society and morals… you could think whatever the hell you pleased, right?

Wrong.

You were starting to hate yourself; your thoughts disgusted you, made you sick to your very core and you knew you had to change… something.

Things had changed since the rumble that seemed to end everything, not only the rivalry between social classes but lives. You guessed everyone changed over time, for better or worse time changed people but you… you were losing it. Kathy would understand, she always did. Lifting your fist towards the door, hesitating slightly, you knocked before you could change your mind.

You waited for a long while, it was late but you couldn't bring yourself to knock again. It was almost as if the knock was your last hope and now there was nothing. Even her brother answering the door would be something; her brother hated you more than the gum stuck on the bottom of his shoe. Couldn't blame him much, you were a brother; you knew how much it blew to watch your sister cry, especially over some asshole guy. You didn't want to think how many times you made Kathy cry.

Turning around slowly, tempted to scream and kick, and pull out your own hair.

Kathy had given up on you this time, buddy.

No getting her back now, pal.

You really out did yourself waiting four months to talk to her and you were back now because you fucking needed something from her. Just fucking typical. The door made that unmistakable creak behind you, the creak you tried to silence when you kept Kathy too late and wanted avoid her brother's wrath.

"What're you doing here," she said.

It wasn't a question, you could tell she was already angry and if it weren't for the sound of exhaustion in her voice you probably could have just started another fight instead of telling her what was wrong. But suddenly you didn't remember what you were fighting about, she did though because the last thing you said to her was cruel and hateful and you knew it was something she would probably never forget, and that was something you had to live with.

When you turned around and looked at her you could tell when her face soften a little that you must have looked a lot more like hell then you thought. You had been up for the past two days and you would have come earlier but coming drunk would have left you with a slammed door in your face, which was something that you currently couldn't deal with.

The night before Soda, yourself and Ponyboy had finished two bottles of whiskey and a case of beer between the two of you. Darry wasn't impressed when he got home from his late shift but he didn't say anything, he even had a beer with us. You didn't regret it, even if it put Kathy off one more night because it might be the end of an era… that was a good word for it, era. The thought was nauseating.

Snapping out of your daze, you realize how pale Kathy had become, as the silence grew longer. You could kick yourself and only imagine what was going threw her head.

"Is it Steve?" she asked, the anger completely gone from her voice. Steve's birthday had been picked almost five months ago and then three and a half weeks later he'd gotten onto a bus and that was all she wrote. It was almost like it had never happened.

Kathy and Steve weren't friends, just acquaintances through you. Parties and the odd double date was about all the contact that they had. But it wasn't that they weren't as good of friends as you and Steve, it was the fact of knowing someone in that damn war. It somehow made it that much more real, that the news reports and Vietnam actually existed and anybody, anybody could get their notice.

You shook your head no. Hell, if Steve was gone you were pretty sure you wouldn't even make it to Kathy's; she'd probably have to come find you. The thought of losing another friend was terrifying; honestly, you didn't think you could do it again. Kids just shouldn't die let alone be sent to a different country to fight a pointless fucking war. Maybe it was Jane's hippie thoughts rubbing off on you but you couldn't blame those draft dodgers that went up to Canada to avoid fighting without a cause.

Your father fought in the Second World War and before Steve you would have thought draft dodgers were just cowards that had absolutely no nobility. But this was different, what were we fighting for this time around? Why should your friends go and risk their lives for a country that, in your opinion, was the one with no nobility. God bless America… fuck right off.

Sitting down on the front step on the porch, suddenly more tired than you were a minute ago, you rubbed your eyes with the balls of your palms. You let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding when Kathy sat beside you, putting her hand on your back.

"What is it?" she asked nervously. You couldn't blame her any, for all she knew your birthday was called and you'd be joining Stevie, you weren't so lucky. You let out a shaky breath and were pissed at yourself for showing how upset you were. You knew it worried Kathy, only acting this way when something life changing happened. She was the only one who got to see you this way and you swore up and down the last time she broke it off, you would never be where you are now, for her sake. You were being selfish.

"Two-Bit, you're scaring me," she said quietly as she started rubbing circles on your back. Boy, you sure loved her. You looked over to her; she was staring at you, waiting for you to say something terrible.

"Soda got his notice yesterday mornin'."

It was hardly noticeable but you could see the relief wash over her face, it almost pissed you off. Out of all the fucking people… out of all 365 days of the year, why Soda? We had all gone through a lot since Dallas and Johnny but the Curtis family… hadn't they gone through enough? It wasn't fucking fair. Your Ma always said life wasn't fair but hell, this was beyond unfair and bad luck.

"Two-Bit..."

"I'm going to enlist tomorrow morning," you interrupted her. You knew she was going to convince you otherwise and maybe that's what you wanted because as of now you couldn't see it any other way. Kathy froze stiff beside you, the comforting circles she made on your back stopped and stared at you for a good while, you were pretty sure she was about to tell you how big of an idiot you were being.

"Excuse me? Can you please repeat that because I swear you just said you're actually choosing to go to war?"

There was more confusion and panic in her voice than anything and you weren't about to get mad at her for it. You understood the feeling of having someone go over there and not knowing if they'd come back or not. This was why you and Kathy just clicked, she wasn't scared to voice what she was thinking and she had that same kind of sense of humor you seemed to lost over the past year.

"I have to go Kathy," you said, stubbornly. "I have friends over there, I can't just sit here and do nothing. I just can't."

"You have friends here," she snapped back at you like it was the most obvious thing in the entire world.

"And don't feed me this bullshit that Steve and Soda need you more over there. Ya know the chances of you even seeing them over there let alone fighting beside them? Slim to none. Jesus Christ Two-Bit, your friends here need you more than ever. Do you think Steve and Soda want you going over there because of them? If something happens do you think they'll be able to live with that?"

She was waiting for an answer; you didn't have one because you knew she was right. She relaxed a little and you knew that she was about to really lay into you, calmly, but with points you couldn't argue.

"What about your sister? If she loses someone else Two-Bit…" she looked at you and you had to look away because you just start to cry like some blubbering idiot. You knew Jane wouldn't recover; she was hardly back to normality since Dallas and Johnny. You were quite honestly all she had left right now because she had isolated herself into oblivion.

"And God forbid something happens to Soda. What about Darry and Pony?"

Glancing back at her, you scratched the back of your neck in frustration. Darry and Pony were big boys; they could take care of themselves but you knew if they lost Soda they'd need you more than they did when they lost their parents.

"You're the glue that holds people together, whether you like it or not," she said, grabbing your hand and squeezing it. You looked at her and intertwined your fingers with hers.

This was why you were here. You had calmed right down, you were thinking clearly and goddamn it to hell you wanted her.

"And if that ain't enough for you to stay, then stay for me," she was looking at you, tearing up.

One of the best part about having a kid sister was learning how to deal with crying women, it'd always be uncomfortable but it wasn't a situation that had you running either. You hated to see her cry over anything; in your mind she should always have that smile on her face.

"I ain't letting you go," she added, tears brimming over her eyelashes.

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, you brought her closer to you and rested your chin on top of her head. As much as you wanted to be over there with Steve and Soda, unless you had to, you weren't going anywhere because as usual Kathy was right.

"I love you, ya know," you tell her after a few minutes of silence.

"You damn well better," she sniffed before kissing your cheek.

**XXX**

**Oh, reviews. **

**A/N 3: This is my first time writing and kind of semi-fluff in a fic, I would love some feedback because I am kind of weary of it.**


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